Spread Addition Continued

The second page is one which shows Gonzo and Ruby sharing a moment where they are laughing and enjoying their company. I wanted to place them on the grass.

Illustrating the second page of the spread:

I began by drawing Gonzo on the grass.

Again, capturing the outline was a tricky process, as I wanted it to flow as well as the one of the previous page does. As the bottom of the first page is white, it meant it was easier to blend out the design, but as this page has green grass at the bottom and a blue sky at the top, I found it trickier to blend it.

With the later incorporation of the scene being set at night time, I then proceeded to add the nights sky in different variations.

 

After dismissing the idea of the moon, I then proceeded to include stars, which I hoped would add to the night sky.

Finalised Page 10:

Finalised Spread:

I am delighted with the finalised spread. I would not of came to this final design without the help of user testing. I tested almost 10 different adults and 6 children within my target audience for this spread. Some of the changes they assisted me with was the inclusion of stars and the removal of the moon.

Spread Addition

I was advised to add another spread which focuses on the relationship between Ruby and Gonzo as their friendship is a crucial part of the book. She is the reason that Gonzo faces his fears.

At this stage in the process, I felt as though I was out of the story-writing mindset. It had been quite a while since I finished the story and I struggled on coming up with the lines for this spread.

I knew from the outset that I wanted to include a couple of different scenes on a white background, showing Gonzo and Ruby doing different activities.This inspiration came from a page in the book “Norman the slug with the silly shell”, which I have included an image of below. It was just coming up with which activities that was the problem! I really wanted to show Ruby flying, so the idea of them playing fetch was an initial idea, then the notion of the kite came to me one morning. I thought that a kite would be a lovely way of showing Gonzo on the ground and Ruby flying in the air, as well as it being a useful way of incorporating colour.

(Layout of inspirational page in “Norman the slug with the silly shell”)

The Rhyme:

My initial rhyme that I came up with was:

“Gonzo and Ruby play all day long. They love to listen to their favourite song.

The laugh and joke until the day ends, they really are the best of friends.”

I wanted to show Gonzo and Ruby listening to music on the radio but I decided against this as the children would not be able to relate to what song it is that they are listening to.

After thinking of the kite idea, the rhyme changed to this:

“Gonzo and Ruby love to have fun. They play with their kite while out int the sun.

The laugh and joke until the day ends, they really are the BEST of friends.” 

Storyboarding:

I sketched my idea roughly, to use as a basis in Adobe Illustrator.

Illustrating the first page of the spread:

I enjoyed drawing the kite the best. I decided on not using the hand drawn outline for the kite as it took away from it. I then placed Ruby on the top of it and gave her an added smile.

The outline:

Drawing the outline in a way that I was happy with took a long amount of time. I would consider myself quite a perfectionist and found it tricky to settle on an outline for the clipping mask.

The Clipping Mask:

The sketch idea was interesting. I really liked the idea of it although I considered it to be substantially different to the spreads in the rest of the book.

 

The clear blue was another idea of mine. Again, whether or not to put an outline around the image was something I couldn’t decide on.

Finalised page 9:

I was delighted with how this page turned out and I am so happy that I included it. I feel that it makes such a difference! The addition of the sun really adds the spread also as it was a nice experiment where the object is placed over the word of its meaning.

 

 

 

Page 19/20 Changes

This spread is one that I have been struggling with for quite some time. I settled on the idea of the yellow and black lines in the background but I was never really happy with that and always knew I would revisit the page further along.

Change in writing:

I changed the writing to try and bring the reader into Gonzo’s thoughts. Instead of used “Gonzo grew panicked as Ruby Robin was in danger. He terribly feared this unwelcome stranger.” I decided to go with “OH NO! Ruby Robin is in DANGER! What will I do about this unwelcome stranger?” I feel as though the change in this text completely restructures the spread.

Previous Spread:

Changes:

I began to draw a typical yellow warning sign.

 

I then began to experiment with different ways of using this on the page. I decided that I needed to evaluate this, as I felt as though because I was looking at it for so long, it was blurring my vision. I gave the different spreads to my sister, who brought it into her primary school classes. There was mixed views from the children, who did really like the idea of the lines, but I still felt that it was slightly over powering, and didn’t flow well with the rest of the book. After asking several different friends, who I think have a good eye for design, the majority felt the same as me, as though the lines were too over-powering.

Finalised Spread:

I decided on removing the lines while still keeping the warning sign in. This really helps to stress the point that Ruby is in danger. It is also good for children to learn of the different icons and symbols that represent warning, so I thought that this inclusion made the spread. I like that it is one of the few spreads which supports a completely white background. I find that it really brings the character out of the scene and makes it clear that this is Gonzo’s thought process. I am delighted with the chosen spread.

 

 

Proposed Changes

After meeting with my supervisor, she suggested some very valid changes which she thinks I should make to the book so far. I have documented the main ones below.

Page 7/8 – To bring the background of page 7 right across to page 8 and display the text in this an alternative, more spread out way over two lines in two paragraphs.

Page 11/12 – To bring the background right across again and change the way the word ‘noise’ is displayed.

Page 13- Change Gonzo’s expression slightly.

Page 16 – Bring the wall further out, finish it.

Page 17 – Change the word devilish – could be a source of conflict in a children’s book.

Page 19/20 – Change the wording and make some changes to the spread.

The text in front of the the dark background needs revising. Consider a lighter grey.

Researching page layouts

I am aware that it is almost time to begin the storyboarding process and I am a little unsure exactly on the correct layout of children’s books. I decided to research this to further my knowledge.

Format

I have attached some examples of standard layouts below, that helped me gain a better understanding of the correct layout I should aim to achieve for my book.

Title Pages

The front cover and inside cover can be generally how you please. I discovered that the first physical page in the book is most commonly known as the ‘title page’. This is where the name of the book is stated again, along with the author and illustrators name and the publisher. I looked at different title pages for inspiration.

This gave me a better idea of what my title page will look like, and decided on incorporating an image of Gonzo, as he is the main character. Roughly something like below:

 

Stanza Selection for Prototype

I wanted to select a stanza in the story that is ideally at the beginning of the book. I obviously will need Gonzo to be included in the prototype, and didn’t want it to be a part of the book in which people who are not familiar with my story wouldn’t understand. I selected the line

‘When people see Gonzo they get a big fright,

His owners think he can protect them at night.’

This is the second paragraph in my story. A big factor that influenced in picking this part was due to the fact that there is going to be a mother and son in the illustration. Up to now, I have always illustrated humans comfortably through the years, and I was worried that I would not enjoy drawing animals as much. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I found that drawing animals gives you a certain amount of freedom to draw shapes and designs that don’t fit the ideals.

 

Storyline Feedback 3 (different Literacy Standards)

As my sister is a resource teacher in a Primary school, she had the opportunity to read the next draft of my story to two of her small classes, one of which is below the standard english reading level and the other who are above average. I felt this to be of huge advantage for me.

The higher level were able to completely read the story themselves, which I was very happy about. The children that were below average at reading were also able to read some lines and just needed help on some of the more difficult ones. My sister explained that this was very helpful as it provided an educational aspect where there was opportunity for them to learn new words and sounds. I was very content with this feedback as I was worried that the storyline might be of a standard too high. Both classes also loved the character of Gonzo even though it was just on paper. The found the name to be humerous and appealing.

 

Story Developments Explained

I am feeling fairly confident with my latest story draft, as I feel it really ties up loose ends.

There are several changes made in this draft, including entire sentences being altered. I made these changes for various different reasons.

• I wanted to create a better flow with the wording so it rolls off the tongue more.
• I wanted to make the story as grammatically correct as possible.
• I also had to alter certain lines that maybe mightn’t of fully made sense to a young child.
• There was parts of the story such as , ‘Little Ruby stood up and clapped aloud”, in which I altered to “Little Ruby flew down and chirped aloud”. The purpose of this particular change was to make the story more realistic. Dan made the observation during a meeting that a Robin would not sleep under a tree and it would chirp rather than clap.
• This is why I looked into parts of the story like this one in more detail. Overall, I am happy with where my story is right now, I feel I have made solid changes throughout the different drafts which resulted in it being vey much improved.

Story Draft 3

Gonzo’s the biggest dog you ever will see,

he’s tall and he’s large and very scary.

 

When people see Gonzo they get a big fright.

His owners think he can protect them at night.

 

But what people don’t know is that Gonzo is fearful,

when he hears loud noises, he starts to get tearful.

 

Spiders, mice and creatures with wings,

Gonzo is scared of all kinds of things…

 

Yet, Gonzo’s not scared of ruby the robin,

she’s always been there when he’s had a problem.

 

Ruby can tell when gonzo is stressed,

she is the one, who knows him the best.

 

One cold and rainy night in December,

Gonzo done something he’d always remember.

 

It was Late at night in the garden at home,

Gonzo felt frightened, scared and alone.

 

All of a sudden, he heard a loud noise,

he jumped and then stumbled over his toys.

 

What was it he wondered? He had no clue at all,

that Clancy Cat was climbing over the garden wall.

 

Gonzo crept out, to get a close look,

one glance at this beast and gonzo was shook.

 

With his devilish claws, and sharp jagged teeth,

he lurked towards the tree, where ruby was asleep.

 

Gonzo grew panicked as Ruby Robin was in danger,

he terribly feared this unwelcome stranger.

 

He decided to act, and held his head high,

ran at the intruder, who let out a cry.

 

Clancy cat grew alarmed and jumped back from its prey,

Gonzo stood tall, as he scurried away.

 

Little Ruby flew down and chirped aloud,

Gonzo had never felt so proud.

 

When she went back to sleep, Gonzo lay down and thought,

“look what good facing my fears has brought!”

 

 

Storyline Feedback 2

Although I know my storyline is not 100% perfect, I feel this draft to be more of a finalised idea than previously. I am happy with the story and know that changes can be made throughout the process and down the line but for the moment, I can begin working more on the design process alongside the second draft.

After I wrote the second draft of Gonzo the Guard Dog, I felt it necessary to get feedback from children within the age group of my target audience. I feel that feedback is a hugely important factor that will help the flow and progress of my project. As I am writing and designing for young children, I am aware that I need to keep going back to children in my age group and checking that everything I do is appealing for them in both the story and the visuals.

I chose a selection of children to ask the questions to. Firstly, I have cousins of a variety of ages on my Dads side of the family. I emailed my aunts and uncles the story of Gonzo the Guard Dog along with a set of questions and space for writing answers. This was handy as they could then simply just print of the pages and email me back their children’s answers after they read them the story to them or after they read it themselves (age dependent). This saved us the trouble of organising to meet up, as everyone works on different schedules.

My cousins vary in age from 3-10 so their feedback was mixed. The main feedback that I got was very good. I was delighted that my cousins over the age of 7 could read the story perfectly, with just small slip-ups on the larger words. My younger cousins loved the story and the character. I asked the question of “Why was Gonzo so proud at the end of the story?” and two of my younger cousins both said along the lines of “gonzo wasn’t afraid anymore” and “He overcame his fears”. my older cousin at the age of 12 said “Gonzo felt confident at the end”. These were exactly the responses I was hoping for. It shows that they understood the underlying message.

My sisters friend works in a primary school in Maynooth where she has a full class of 7 year olds (2nd class). This was an ideal opportunity. She read the story to the class who all seemed very interested. They were alert and listened all the way through she said. Most of the children understood that Gonzo was happy because he wasn’t scared anymore. They then went on to discuss their own fears and when the children have faced fears before. She told me it was a very enjoyable story to of done with them in the classroom as it was very open for discussion afterwards where they learned more.