Stanza Selection for Prototype

I wanted to select a stanza in the story that is ideally at the beginning of the book. I obviously will need Gonzo to be included in the prototype, and didn’t want it to be a part of the book in which people who are not familiar with my story wouldn’t understand. I selected the line

‘When people see Gonzo they get a big fright,

His owners think he can protect them at night.’

This is the second paragraph in my story. A big factor that influenced in picking this part was due to the fact that there is going to be a mother and son in the illustration. Up to now, I have always illustrated humans comfortably through the years, and I was worried that I would not enjoy drawing animals as much. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I found that drawing animals gives you a certain amount of freedom to draw shapes and designs that don’t fit the ideals.

 

Storyline Feedback 3 (different Literacy Standards)

As my sister is a resource teacher in a Primary school, she had the opportunity to read the next draft of my story to two of her small classes, one of which is below the standard english reading level and the other who are above average. I felt this to be of huge advantage for me.

The higher level were able to completely read the story themselves, which I was very happy about. The children that were below average at reading were also able to read some lines and just needed help on some of the more difficult ones. My sister explained that this was very helpful as it provided an educational aspect where there was opportunity for them to learn new words and sounds. I was very content with this feedback as I was worried that the storyline might be of a standard too high. Both classes also loved the character of Gonzo even though it was just on paper. The found the name to be humerous and appealing.

 

Story Developments Explained

I am feeling fairly confident with my latest story draft, as I feel it really ties up loose ends.

There are several changes made in this draft, including entire sentences being altered. I made these changes for various different reasons.

• I wanted to create a better flow with the wording so it rolls off the tongue more.
• I wanted to make the story as grammatically correct as possible.
• I also had to alter certain lines that maybe mightn’t of fully made sense to a young child.
• There was parts of the story such as , ‘Little Ruby stood up and clapped aloud”, in which I altered to “Little Ruby flew down and chirped aloud”. The purpose of this particular change was to make the story more realistic. Dan made the observation during a meeting that a Robin would not sleep under a tree and it would chirp rather than clap.
• This is why I looked into parts of the story like this one in more detail. Overall, I am happy with where my story is right now, I feel I have made solid changes throughout the different drafts which resulted in it being vey much improved.

Story Draft 3

Gonzo’s the biggest dog you ever will see,

he’s tall and he’s large and very scary.

 

When people see Gonzo they get a big fright.

His owners think he can protect them at night.

 

But what people don’t know is that Gonzo is fearful,

when he hears loud noises, he starts to get tearful.

 

Spiders, mice and creatures with wings,

Gonzo is scared of all kinds of things…

 

Yet, Gonzo’s not scared of ruby the robin,

she’s always been there when he’s had a problem.

 

Ruby can tell when gonzo is stressed,

she is the one, who knows him the best.

 

One cold and rainy night in December,

Gonzo done something he’d always remember.

 

It was Late at night in the garden at home,

Gonzo felt frightened, scared and alone.

 

All of a sudden, he heard a loud noise,

he jumped and then stumbled over his toys.

 

What was it he wondered? He had no clue at all,

that Clancy Cat was climbing over the garden wall.

 

Gonzo crept out, to get a close look,

one glance at this beast and gonzo was shook.

 

With his devilish claws, and sharp jagged teeth,

he lurked towards the tree, where ruby was asleep.

 

Gonzo grew panicked as Ruby Robin was in danger,

he terribly feared this unwelcome stranger.

 

He decided to act, and held his head high,

ran at the intruder, who let out a cry.

 

Clancy cat grew alarmed and jumped back from its prey,

Gonzo stood tall, as he scurried away.

 

Little Ruby flew down and chirped aloud,

Gonzo had never felt so proud.

 

When she went back to sleep, Gonzo lay down and thought,

“look what good facing my fears has brought!”

 

 

Storyline Feedback 2

Although I know my storyline is not 100% perfect, I feel this draft to be more of a finalised idea than previously. I am happy with the story and know that changes can be made throughout the process and down the line but for the moment, I can begin working more on the design process alongside the second draft.

After I wrote the second draft of Gonzo the Guard Dog, I felt it necessary to get feedback from children within the age group of my target audience. I feel that feedback is a hugely important factor that will help the flow and progress of my project. As I am writing and designing for young children, I am aware that I need to keep going back to children in my age group and checking that everything I do is appealing for them in both the story and the visuals.

I chose a selection of children to ask the questions to. Firstly, I have cousins of a variety of ages on my Dads side of the family. I emailed my aunts and uncles the story of Gonzo the Guard Dog along with a set of questions and space for writing answers. This was handy as they could then simply just print of the pages and email me back their children’s answers after they read them the story to them or after they read it themselves (age dependent). This saved us the trouble of organising to meet up, as everyone works on different schedules.

My cousins vary in age from 3-10 so their feedback was mixed. The main feedback that I got was very good. I was delighted that my cousins over the age of 7 could read the story perfectly, with just small slip-ups on the larger words. My younger cousins loved the story and the character. I asked the question of “Why was Gonzo so proud at the end of the story?” and two of my younger cousins both said along the lines of “gonzo wasn’t afraid anymore” and “He overcame his fears”. my older cousin at the age of 12 said “Gonzo felt confident at the end”. These were exactly the responses I was hoping for. It shows that they understood the underlying message.

My sisters friend works in a primary school in Maynooth where she has a full class of 7 year olds (2nd class). This was an ideal opportunity. She read the story to the class who all seemed very interested. They were alert and listened all the way through she said. Most of the children understood that Gonzo was happy because he wasn’t scared anymore. They then went on to discuss their own fears and when the children have faced fears before. She told me it was a very enjoyable story to of done with them in the classroom as it was very open for discussion afterwards where they learned more.

 

 

Story – Draft 2

Gonzo the Guard Dog

 

Gonzo is the biggest dog you ever will see,

he’s tall and he’s large and very scary.

 

When people see Gonzo they get a big fright,

his owners think he will protect them at night.

 

What people don’t know is that Gonzo is fearful,

when he hears a loud noise, he starts getting tearful.

 

Spiders, mice and creatures with wings,

Gonzo is scared of all kinds of things.

 

However, Gonzo’s not scared of ruby the robin,

She has always been there when he’s had a problem.

 

Ruby can tell when gonzo’s distressed,

She is the one, who knows him the best.

 

One cold and rainy night in December,

Gonzo saw something he’d always remember.

 

Late at night in the garden at home,

Gonzo felt frightened, scared and alone.

 

All of a sudden, his ears pricked up,

with a sweep of his tail, he knocked over his cup.

 

The skin on his back began to crawl,

A cat was climbing over the garden wall.

 

Gonzo crept out for a closer look,

One glance at the beast and gonzo was shook.

 

With his devilish claws, and sharp jagged teeth,

He lurked towards the tree, where ruby lay beneath.

 

Gonzo grew panicked as ruby was in danger,

He terribly feared this unwelcome stranger.

 

He decided to act, and held his head high,

Ran at the intruder, and leapt very high.

 

The cat grew surprised and jumped back from its prey,

Gonzo stood tall, as it scurried away.

 

Little Ruby stood up and applauded aloud,

Gonzo had never felt so proud.

 

When she went back to sleep, Gonzo sat there and thought,

“Look what good facing my fears has brought!”

Story Changes

I had to make a lot of changes to my story. I realised that the idea of a burglar coming over the back garden wall could indeed be to frightening for children, as this is a real issue. I focused on how to make this obstacle more fantasy based. I decided upon a cat as an alternative to the thief for various different reasons.

As I began this thinking process, parts of the storyline weren’t making sense with the incorporation of the cat. I had the thought that introducing another character solve this problem.

The images I’ve attached beneath are rough (and messy!) documents of my thinking process.

The Gruffalo

The Gruffalo and the Gruffalo’s child are two books that I have read this week which I have sought a lot of inspiration from.

The two of the books begin with the theme of fear. The little mouse in the Gruffalo smartly avoids getting eaten by different animals by talking of a large monster which he is meeting for lunch, and the other animals scatter quickly. The mouse cunningly uses his confidence to stay out of harms way. It is not until towards the end of the story that this mouse realises that this imaginary creature is actually true!

I liked that the actual storyline written by Julia Donaldson was not a very simple story to read and is targeted at children ages 3-5. This gave me a bit more confidence in my story as I am targeting a similar age group, and the reading standard would also be similar.

Again, both the Gruffalo and the Gruffalos child were both illustrated by Alex Scheffler. It’s a funny, brightly and coloured book.

Stick Man

This was one of the first books that I have read by Julia Donaldson. I love how she has taken an everyday object of a stick and gave it an identity. The stick has been taken away from his loved ones through various different events that bring him far away from home. These events include getting thrown to a dog, forming part of a birds nest, becoming a flag mast on the top of a sand tower and many more.

The story ends with the stickman being brought home by Santa Claus, who finds him in the chimney. This story really appealed to me, especially considering the time of year coming up to Christmas!

I feel that the story would have the ability to captivate children’s imaginations from the very beginning as this is an object children play with in the park and all of a sudden it has a life of its own. Some inspiration that I took was the fact that some of the concepts in the story would need some explanation which would need to be explained to them by an parent or teacher. This only encourages imagination.

Axel Scheffler is the illustrator of Stick Man and who has worked on many of Julia Donaldson’s stories. His illustrations really bring the story to life in the details!

Julia Donaldson

I was advised last week during my meeting to look at Julia Donaldson books for inspiration. She has a very interesting history of singing and songwriting, mainly for children’s television, before becoming an author of children’s books in 1993, when one of her songs, “A Squash and a Squeeze” was made into a book.

I was surprised to see that she has written 193 books. (92 of them can be bought in shops, and the other 101 are for schools.)

I have read a selected of her books this week that I could get my hands on online and in the library that I have written separate blog posts on. I have gathered a lot of inspiration from them.